Breaking Free from Automaticity: Lessons from HAPP

The Wake-Up Call

There's a moment in everyone's life when they realise they're on autopilot: reacting instead of responding, being driven by impulses rather than intention. For me, that moment came during the HAPP course, when I encountered a concept that would fundamentally shift how I navigate my daily life: automaticity.

Understanding the Automatic Cycle

Buddha referred to thoughts and emotions as the "mind object," and for good reason. While we can't control the events that happen to us, our thoughts and emotions drive our actions, which in turn create new events. This creates what Professors Vishal and Shishir call the Automatic Cycle of Behaviour.

The problem? Most of us live our entire lives trapped in this cycle, reacting automatically to stimuli without conscious awareness. We say things we don't mean, make decisions we later regret, and engage in behaviors that don't serve us—all because we're operating on autopilot.

Looking at my own patterns, I saw this playing out everywhere:

• Overworking because I couldn't say no

• Taking on more responsibilities than I could handle

• Experiencing interpersonal conflicts with loved ones

• Feeling anxious and irritable without understanding why

  
  

The culprit? My ego-self was running the show with its need for control, fear of failure, and inability to delegate. I was catastrophizing, using absolute language ("always," "never"), and spiralling downward into negative patterns.

The 90-Second Window

Here's something that struck me profoundly: Any emotional reactivity takes 90 seconds to flush out of our system.

Ninety seconds. That's all it takes.

If we can control ourselves for those first 90 seconds after an event occurs, we give ourselves a chance to overcome automaticity and live a better, more controlled life. But if we get swept away by automatic thoughts and emotions in that window, we're caught in the downward spiral.

This is where the SORT framework steps in.

SORT: My New Mental Operating System

SORT is a four-step tool designed to help us rewire our thoughts and emotions in real-time. It stands for:

S - Step Away (Decentering)

The first step is to create distance from the stimulus. When an event occurs, we get caught in it, unable to see it objectively. Decentering allows us to observe the situation as an onlooker, seeing what's actually happening without bias.

In practice, this means mentally stepping back and viewing the situation from a third-person perspective. Instead of being in the drama, I become an observer of the drama.

O - Observe (Present Moment Awareness)

The second step breaks the chain of automatic, ego-driven thoughts and emotions. This is where mindfulness enters, bringing awareness to your breath, your body, or using a simple mantra to anchor yourself in the here and now.

For me, this often means taking a few deep breaths. That simple act interrupts the automaticity that's just setting in and grounds me in the present moment. I remind myself: I don't have to get involved. I can just watch objectively.

R - Recognize (Non-Identification)

This is where the real work happens. The Recognize step makes you question your automatic thinking patterns and acknowledge that these reactions are driven by your survival mindset—your 'ego-self' that's quick to judge, blame, criticize, and catastrophize.

At this stage, I ask myself: Is this really the best way to think, feel, and act? I practice non-identification with my automatic thoughts and emotions, recognizing them as merely reactionary responses to external events.

T - Think Again (Reframing)

Here, I invoke my 'natural-self': the part of me rooted in empathy, kindness, faith, gratitude, and honesty.

I reframe the situation through appreciative questions:

• Could I be wrong in my judgment?

• Am I missing some information?

• Is there a better, more positive way of responding to this?

By asking these questions, I broaden my perspective and find different, healthier ways of reacting.

Real-World Impact: My Emotional Triggers

During the HAPP course, we did an exercise mapping our emotions to triggering events and automatic thoughts. This was illuminating:

Fear → Flight anxiety → "I'm not going to make it" → Catastrophizing about the future

Envy → Younger colleagues getting high-paying jobs → "This is unfair" + "Am I not good enough?" → Comparing myself and feeling inadequate

Shame → Eating junk food → Self-blame → "I have no self-control"

Guilt → Gaining weight despite effort → Avoidance → "I don't want to face the truth"

Seeing these patterns laid out clearly helped me understand that F.E.A.R. is just False Evidence Appearing Real. The future is 100% imagination. By applying SORT to these moments, I could pause, decenter, reappraise, and choose a different response.

The Gratitude Practice

One of the most powerful exercises from the course was the gratitude practice.

Now, I actively list daily wins:

• Going to the gym

• Seeing loved ones thrive

• Waking up early

• Helping someone

• Being there for family

• Getting my work done

• Sticking to commitments

This isn't about toxic positivity but rather about training my brain to notice the good alongside the challenges.

Living with Greater Awareness

The HAPP course taught me that we exist in our thoughts and emotions. The quality of our lives is determined not by what happens to us, but by how we respond to what happens to us.

As Buddha said in the first Twin Verse of the Dhammapada:

"Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Suffering follows an evil thought as the wheels of a cart follow the oxen that draw it. Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves."

The connection between our cognitive brain (thinking) and emotional brain (limbic system) is powerful. When we question automatic thoughts, we don't just change our thinking; we inhibit the negative feelings generated by our emotional brain. People who wallow in negative emotions have weak connections between these two brain regions.

My Daily Practice

Now, whenever I find myself in the grip of negative feelings and thoughts, whether it's during a difficult presentation, interpersonal conflict, or just daily stress, I SORT them out:

1. Step away from the event mentally

2. Observe my breath and ground myself

3. Recognize that these are automatic, habituated responses

4. Think again using my natural-self, asking positive questions

I've also committed to:

• Practicing mindful eating

• Reducing multitasking

• Using breathing meditation to build awareness

• Catching myself when I catastrophize or use absolute language

The Bottom Line

The SORT framework has given me a practical tool to navigate those 90 seconds when everything hangs in the balance. It's helped me move from reactive to responsive, from ego-driven to intentional, from automatic to aware.

This isn't about perfection. I still get triggered. I still react automatically sometimes. But now I have a framework to catch myself, rewire my thoughts, and choose a better path forward.